Body Confidence & Self-Esteem - Swimsuits!

So, to say may journey with loving my body didn't come easy, is a bit of an understatement.  I went through A LOT to force myself and my body into a shape that would be socially accepted as being aesthetically pleasing.  Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I didn't.  When I succeeded it was through extreme measures of dieting or starvation and exercise.  

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay 

I have been in a constant battle with my body throughout my life so I know what it feels like to not feel that the body you have fits in with the belief you have about who you are as a person.  When you dislike your body, the idea of a pool party is similar to slow torture with an arena of onlookers.  It is brutal!  A little bit of material to hide everything that I felt was wrong with my body.  I knew things needed to change but it was only when I became pregnant that things really became REAL.  

I knew I needed to change my mindset and I was determined to model body-confidence to my child.  The recipe for improving body-confidence:

Image by skeeze from Pixabay 

• Pour major work on body confidence and self-esteem using EFT into a bowl;
• Add some time;
• Pop in a handful of very small steps;
• Add a dash of bravery;
• Finish off with a cup of determination.

As I followed this recipe, I started to see some improvement.  When my son was 9 months old we started going to an indoor swimming school which was packed with people. Seriously, it was like a family event every week.  Mom's and dad's and grannies, the whole lot.  But what I noticed was, I was the only mommy in the pool with about 10 dads and babies.  Week after week mommies would line the seating areas around the pool while daddies were in the pool with the babies.  

Image by Marisa Sias from Pixabay 

I was there on my own with my baby with what felt like an arena of onlookers, sporting my post baby body and a swimsuit...I was petrified but determined to conquer.  So the first week I entered the pool room with my towel basically to my neck, hung up the towel and quickly got in the pool with baby as dignified as humanly possible.  I would do some EFT work before the class in anticipation as well as some deep core belief clearing work.  After the class I would work on everything that didn't feel well during the process.  However, by the end of the 8 weeks I would leave my stuff in the changing room, walk with bathing suit only through the busy corridors and get into the pool with baby.  After the lesson I would climb out of the pool and make the journey back through the corridors back to the changing room.  Full transparency?  Every time I did it I felt such a boost of bravery and confidence like I conquered a milestone.

One day, a mommy came to me in the changing room and said 'I could never go in front of others wearing only my bathing suit'...her lip was quivering at this point.  She was so ashamed of the way she looked.  I knew exactly what she felt thought and I realized how far I have come at that point.  I also realized that one day I would be able to help someone else like this lady to feel better about herself by teaching the tools I used to feel better about myself.

Let's do a bit of tapping on this issue.  Below I give an example of the wording that I used or would use as a generalization.  Feel free to follow along with my tapping script but the best results are achieved by using your own wording to describe your situation and feelings.  Although your journey might mirror mine in the external environment, there will always be some differences in the way we interpret those events.

Take a measure on the SUDS (Subjective Units of Distress Scale) from 0 - 10 (zero being no intensity at all and 10 being the most discomfort possible).

Setup Phase/Phrase

Tap on KC point and say:

Even though I feel like I have no business being in a swimsuit in public, I love and accept myself;

Even though I feel uncomfortable in my body, I accept myself completely;

Even though I hate the way I look, I love and accept myself.

Tapping Sequence

Tap on TOH:  I don't want to be in a swimsuit in front of myself let alone anyone else;

Tap on EB:  The thought of being at a pool event in a swimsuit;

Tap on SE:  fills me with fear;

Tap on UE:  What will people think of me?;

Tap on UN:  I feel so ashamed of my body;

Tap on Ch:  The last thing I ever want to do is have that little bit of material cover my flabby bits in public;

Tap on CB:  I feel that I need to be perfect in a swimsuit and I will never get there;

Tap on UA:  I feel like a failure and exposed.

Now we get to the deeper work.  See when you go and see an EFT Practitioner, we would work out prior to tapping, what the emotions are that surrounds this issue.  In a self-help situation like what I am teaching here, you may be unaware of what these emotions are and so when it is revealed to you during your tapping session on the actual problem you are having, some interesting things come to light that you must take note of.  It is always a good idea to have a notebook handy when tapping so you can jot down these bits of inspiration that comes through when tapping.

We were tapping on this round on what we think the issue is but during the tapping some new information comes to light.  The real issues are emotions relating to the event of swimming or wearing a swimsuit.  These are:

• Fear;
• Ashamed;
• Failure;
• Exposed or vulnerable.

Each of these emotions can now be unpacked and worked on separately to clear it down to zero on the scale.

So from here you will take a look at each emotion and give it a SUDS measurement on the scale.  Then move on to evaluate what the fear emotion is about in this situation and then start tapping to clear the fear surrounding this even.  For example:

Setup Phase/Phrase

Tap on KC point and say:

Even though I have feel fear, I love and accept myself;

Even though there is fear surrounding wearing a swimsuit in public, I accept myself completely;

Even though this fear I am feeling is a protection stance by my brain, I love and accept myself completely.

Tapping Sequence

Tap on TOH:  Wearing a swimsuit in public makes me feel fear;

Tap on EB:  I wonder when was the first time I felt like this?;

Tap on SE:  I wonder what happened in my past that made my brain register that this situation is potential danger?;

Tap on UE:  Regardless of what happened, I know now that I feel fear;

Tap on UN:  This fear I feel;

Tap on Ch:  This fear surrounding wearing a swimsuit;

Tap on CB:  This fear is now a 6 on the SUD Scale.

Tap on UA:  This fear reaction in my body.

Work your way down to a zero on the scale for each of these emotions you have identified.  Before you start the next emotion, double check the SUDS measurement as often you might find that some have already reduced in intensity while working on other emotions.

If you are new to EFT and would like to learn the basics to use on yourself and for yourself, have a look at my Free EFT course - MeTap™ - FastTrack to Living your Best Life with EFT