Trauma Is Not Your Fault And Healing Is Your Responsibility

This statement is so powerful and it has taken a few days of reflection upon the meaning of this statement to completely understand what it means.


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Let me start with an example of how this statement can play out in real life...as it has in my life and experience.


I once worked for a lady that treated people horribly including myself.  She was over 50 and bullied staff to the point that people would take bets on how long new staff would last in her employ.  She, however, saw herself as kindhearted and fair but also that she wouldn't take sh$t from anyone so everyone became a potential enemy.  

She experienced trauma as a child under a violent father and a mother who abandoned her and her siblings when they were very young.  However, at over 50 years of age, she has been an adult for much longer than she was ever a child.  And at this point, she has left a trail of destruction of which she may never appreciate the gravity of.  All of which could be stopped or even prevented had she taken responsibility for healing her traumatized heart.

I am sure you have your own examples of people in your life that you may have described as difficult, temperamental, mean or even a bully.   However, consider for a moment what is happening here.  However, each person is merely behaving in a way that reflects what is in their hearts.  The hurt they have accumulated in their hearts.  

We all have the power as adults to heal the pain we have accumulated.  By working on ourselves and healing, we stop the cycle of the negative effects we have on ourselves as well as people around us. 


Healing Hearts Tapping Script Example

Image by Alexandra_Koch from Pixabay 
This tapping script will focus on helping you work through negative feelings from being hurt by someone who hasn't yet found the courage to heal themselves.

Some important points before we start:

  • Identify what you are feeling;
  • Rate your feeling intensity on a scale from 0 (no intensity) - 10 (highest intensity);
  • Always adapt the tapping script by replacing words or statements to match your specific feelings and experiences in this situation.  The more specific your wording the better the results will be in your healing process.

Tap on KC Point:




Even though I have been mistreated by someone, I am worth is measured by me and no one else;


Even though I have been brought to tears by this person, I love and accept myself anyway;

Even though I feel negative feelings towards this person, I completely and utterly love and accept myself.

Tap on Each Acupoint;


I feel angry;

I feel angry at the person who is so mean;

I feel angry at myself for allowing this person to treat me like this;

I understand that this person has experienced pain in their lives;

Even though I understand this concept, it is not my fault;

I haven't done anything wrong;

What is it about me that is making me a target by this person;

I feel victimized and I hate that feeling;

I feel ashamed that I feel like this as an adult;

It is really sad that someone else has so much power over how I feel;

I feel anxious being around this person;

This person is really affecting my life negatively;

I hope that this person find the help they need to heal their hearts so that no one else has to suffer like I am now;

I feel sad that he/she has had a difficult experience;

It is not my fault;

It is their responsibility to heal their hearts so no one else has to hurt;

I feel ashamed that I have been put into this situation;

I don't like feeling my power has been removed.


Want to learn Emotional Freedom Techniques?



If you are unfamiliar with EFT and would like to learn tapping for yourself, try my online course MeTap - FastTrack Course to Living your Best Life with EFT.

Alternatively, learn more advanced or specialized EFT skills by checking out the below courses:



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