Remove the Shame of Female Pleasure with EFT Tapping

Many women feel shame around receiving pleasure.  Surprisingly most women have no problem providing pleasure for their partners, ensuring their satisfaction with the seemingly appropriate grunts and moans to set the tone.  These grunts, moans and fake orgasms serve the purpose of allowing their partner to feel good about their sexual performance.  Unfortunately, this behaviour only leaves a breadcrumb trail towards dissatisfaction, providing the partner with the incorrect information as to what the person likes or dislikes.

Why is it so difficult to tell your partner what you want? 

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Well, this is a complicated question with an equally complicated answer.  Many factors contribute to being unable to ask for what you want in the bedroom.  However, the dominant theme here seems to be 'shame'.  We feel shame about what our bodies look like and we feel shame about our vagina's not looking like the surgically altered and bleached vagina's seen in pornography  (actually the vagina form the internal structures including the birth canal - the vulva and labia are the external parts that we actually see)

Female sexual pleasure is something that has been frowned upon for a very long time.  This creates more feelings of shame for wanting to feel things we aren't supposed to want or need.  In most societies, religions & cultures, female sexual pleasure isn't discussed and in actual fact, female sexual pleasure is very much discouraged, ignored and even seen as sinful.  The reality for most women then is to ignore their own needs for pleasure at all costs and become masters in the art of 'faking it'!

Remove the Feeling of Shame with EFT Tapping

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Although this subject is very complicated and often seems impossible for a person in this position, the first step is to work on removing the feeling of shame.  For women, this feeling has been reinforced since childhood.  For this reason, it becomes a difficult and long process to start removing the layers of shame associated with pleasure and yet it's possible!

This tapping script is specifically for women who have NOT experienced trauma to their sexual organs such as child abuse or rape.  Although women who have survived such trauma can also have the experience of shame in the context mentioned above, the treatment and healing will need to be focussed and incorporate the trauma experienced.  In this case, very skilled professional help will be needed.  Please seek help from a professional that can help hold a safe space for you when difficult emotions, memories and reactions come up for you. 

In the tapping example script that follows, I will focus on common topics around the issue of shame around female sexual pleasure that affect women.  These topics may reflect your own experience and if they don't please feel free to add your own personal experience.  The more specific you are in your wording about your own situation, the greater the potential for healing.

Always start your EFT tapping routine by checking your measurement from 0-10 (10 being the highest level of discomfort and zero being no discomfort).

Tap on your Karate Chop point and say:

Even though I feel shame, I love and accept myself completely;

Even though I am a __________ (insert your measurement number) on the measurement scale, I appreciate my body being able to give me information on the severity of the issue;

Even though I feel embarrassed to ask for what I want, I completely and utterly love and accept myself.

Tap on each Acupoint from Top of Head to Underarm and make a statement that matches your specific situation.  The statements below can be used as a guide to help you here:

I feel shame about my own pleasure;

Even the thought makes me cringe;

I am uncomfortable to ask for what I want;

I am not even sure I know what I want exactly;

I have no idea what I look like down there; or

I don't like what I look like down there;

I am scared that I smell or taste bad;

I always make sure my partner has an orgasm;

It would feel very bad if I weren't good in bed;

To be good in bed I need to make sure my partner is satisfied;

I make sexual noises even though I'm not really feeling much pleasure if any;

I want my partner to think that he/she is doing a good job;

I sometimes / often have no orgasm so I 'fake-it' to prevent my partner from feeling bad;

I sometimes / often fake an orgasm as I am embarrassed that it takes me a long time to orgasm;

I feel like a failure that I am unable to orgasm during intercourse alone;
Is there something wrong with me?;

This is not a topic I tend to talk about.

Ensure you check in between rounds to see your progress on the measurement scale.  Once you reach zero, complete your tapping with more positive statements for example:

I am only human and all humans have needs;

Times are changing and it is time that women, including me, experience pleasure with or without a partner without feeling shame;

I look forward to reaching a point when shame is no longer a factor for me.

Want to learn Emotional Freedom Techniques?

If you are unfamiliar with EFT and would like to learn tapping for yourself, try my free online course MeTap - FastTrack Course to Living your Best Life with EFT.

Alternatively, learn more advanced or specialized EFT skills by checking out the below courses:

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