EFT Tapping for Parents and Children - Going to Big School
My little one is going to Big School! Needless to say, I have been dealing with the anxieties of this approaching milestone whilst helping my son deal with his own anxieties and concerns.
There is a lot to deal with during this stage. There is this feeling of loss and saying goodbye to this whole small human phase (baby, toddler, preschooler) where you were their whole world. Then there is the difficulty of slowly having to let go and setting them free to experience the new and becoming more and more independent. Your control over their lives such as the information they receive, the people they meet, the knowledge they gain, the games they play and the influence they have and receive become less. With this comes the knowing of the challenges they may face during this new phase and if you had issues of your own such as being bullied as a child this adds to the parental anxiety, desperately wanting to spare your child such experiences.
Identify the dominant emotion you are feeling and what is behind this feeling. So if you are feeling anxious, ask yourself what feeling is really behind your anxiety. In most cases this emotion is likely to be fear. Now ask yourself what you might be afraid of..... For example you might be afraid of bullying.
The below serves as example statements. If they fit your situation, please feel free to use them as they are. If they don't fit your situation and experience then change them. The more personal you make these statements the better your results will be.
The below serves as example statements. Ensure you make changes to the statements to fit your child's experience and wording. The more personal you make these statements the better your results will be.
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| Image by Monoar Rahman Rony from Pixabay |
There is a lot to deal with during this stage. There is this feeling of loss and saying goodbye to this whole small human phase (baby, toddler, preschooler) where you were their whole world. Then there is the difficulty of slowly having to let go and setting them free to experience the new and becoming more and more independent. Your control over their lives such as the information they receive, the people they meet, the knowledge they gain, the games they play and the influence they have and receive become less. With this comes the knowing of the challenges they may face during this new phase and if you had issues of your own such as being bullied as a child this adds to the parental anxiety, desperately wanting to spare your child such experiences.
First Day of School Tapping Example Script
In the effort to help you navigate this new milestone with your child, I would like to give you a tapping example for the parent and for the child.
I would highly recommend that you do the work on yourself as the parent first. Your anxieties and fears need to be dealt and resolved so that you aren't reflecting these upon your child's experience. If you are so focussed on what you, as the parent, are fearful of you may be unable to clearly observe and hear the fears that your child is likely to have. You might be surprised to find that your child's fears are very different from your own. For example, my fears were about bullying, my son's fears were about getting too much work to do that will interfere with his play time.
We took the summer holidays (Southern Hemisphere summers are during December) to prepare for this day and slowly but surely my son went from being afraid to go to school (tearing up about it) to actually telling me he is getting excited and nervous at the same time. He is today on his second day of Big School with no tears or struggles at all.
I went from being an emotional rollarcoaster to prepared, confident and proud.
I would highly recommend that you do the work on yourself as the parent first. Your anxieties and fears need to be dealt and resolved so that you aren't reflecting these upon your child's experience. If you are so focussed on what you, as the parent, are fearful of you may be unable to clearly observe and hear the fears that your child is likely to have. You might be surprised to find that your child's fears are very different from your own. For example, my fears were about bullying, my son's fears were about getting too much work to do that will interfere with his play time.
We took the summer holidays (Southern Hemisphere summers are during December) to prepare for this day and slowly but surely my son went from being afraid to go to school (tearing up about it) to actually telling me he is getting excited and nervous at the same time. He is today on his second day of Big School with no tears or struggles at all.
I went from being an emotional rollarcoaster to prepared, confident and proud.
Tapping Script Example for Parents
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| Image by kirillslov from Pixabay |
Take a measurement on the Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS) from 0 - 10.
Tap on the KC point and say:
Even though I am feeling ________ (insert feeling such as fear), I love and accept myself completely;
Even though the feeling of ______ (insert identified feeling such as fear) is caused by _______________ (insert the situation behind the emotion for example bullying), I understand that this is my own issues and I love myself utterly and completely;
Even though I am a _____________ (insert your rating on the SUDS for example 8) on the measurement scale, I completely and utterly love and accept myself.
Tap on each Acupoint and make a statement about your particular situation.
The below serves as example statements. If they fit your situation, please feel free to use them as they are. If they don't fit your situation and experience then change them. The more personal you make these statements the better your results will be.
I am feeling anxious;
The feeling of _________ (insert feeling example fear) lies behind this anxious feeling;
I know that there are challenges that my child will need to face;
It scares me that I won't be there to protect him/her;
What if he/she is not able to handle certain situations like ________ (insert situation for example bullying);
I know that my own challenging experiences during this phase has set the scene of what I feel I should expect for my own child and that scares me;
I feel that my power and control as a parent is becoming less and I realise this is the way of life that children need to live and experience life;
I am still only human and worry for my child;
I want to be the parent that knows everything about my child and his/her day so can pick up anything that is untoward;
I am afraid that I will miss something critical and let my child down;
I feel like I need to say goodbye to the little-one phase as he/she is going to Big School now;
My heart hurts to let go of the baby, toddler and preschool phase;
A time I will never get back;
At the same time I am excited for the amazing person my child is growing into;
All the wonderful experiences that they are getting ready for in this new phase;
I love that I am able with a magnitude of life experience, to help my child through difficult and amazing situations.
Tapping Script Example for Children
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| Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay |
Talk to your child and find out what they are feeling and what is the cause of the feelings so that you know what scenarios they may be playing out in their minds that cause these feelings. Let's take my child's example of worry that there would be too much work to do that takes from his play time. Worry isn't strictly speaking a feeling as it can be reduced to the feeling of fear again, it is important to use your child's language when tapping. It is their experience after all.
Take a measurement on the Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS) from 0 - 10. If your child is still small, just intuitively take a SUDS measurement on behalf of your child.
Tap on the KC point and say:
Even though I am feeling ________ (insert feeling such as worry), I love and accept myself completely;
Even though the feel ______ (insert identified feeling such as worry) because ______________(insert the situation behind the emotion for example the amount of work will reduce play time), I am ok;
Even though this is a big new step for me going to Big School, I know this is an adventure and I can do this.
Tap on each Acupoint and make a statement about your particular situation.
The below serves as example statements. Ensure you make changes to the statements to fit your child's experience and wording. The more personal you make these statements the better your results will be.
I am feeling ______ (example worry);
This feeling of _________ (insert feeling example worry) is making me feel like I don't want to go to Big School;
I don't know what to expect;
What if we have so much work to do that there is no more time to play;
What if I don't make friends;
What if no one likes me or I don't like anyone;
What will we be doing at Big School;
Will the teacher be nice or will she shout at me;
What if the other kids are mean;
I don't want to go to Big School;
Why are you just leaving me there;
There are so many people;
What do I do if I need to go to the toilet;
Do I have to keep my school shoes on all the time;
I don't want to do too much work it makes my hand hurt;
I know there is going to be a lot of new things to do;
I feel a bit excited and also scared;
I will be learning to read and write which will be good;
What sports will we be able to play;
Are we going to play sports;
I wonder what it will really be like;
I know that mommy / daddy will be there when I finish school;
I am sure the teacher knows what she / he is doing;
I will be ok.
Want to learn Emotional Freedom Techniques?
If you are unfamiliar with EFT and would like to learn tapping for yourself, try my free online course MeTap - FastTrack Course to Living your Best Life with EFT.
Alternatively, learn more advanced or specialized EFT skills by checking out the below courses:
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