Sad Womb Syndrome

I was having a chat the other day with my mom and we were talking about menopause, hysterectomy, sterilization, problems with conceiving, effects of erectile dysfunction on the female psyche and reproductive organs, the effects of being with a male partner that is asexual and the effects this may have on the other partner emotionally and physically.  These negative emotions associated with these issues that have relation to the womb felt to me like the womb is sad and so now dubbed by me as the Sad Womb Syndrome.

Image by LJNovaScotia from Pixabay

Now this concept is a very complex and very generalized term and a term I feel is fitting of describing the loss, rejection, grief, sadness, anger, resentment to name a few that arise for woman going through any and each of these circumstances.  Of course this may not affect all women but this post is for those women who do wear emotional scarring on this subject.  Men also have similar emotional reactions to some and maybe all of these conditions affecting their lives and the focus of this blog will be from the female perspective.

These conditions and circumstances and the emotional reaction to them are not out of choice.  One is often found in a position where a decision has to be made to remove the womb due to medical advice.  This is not much of a choice but a necessity.  Similarly although we all know menopause is coming, no one seems to be prepared for it when it actually does arrive (I will definitely be one of these women)...can one even prepare emotionally and physically for the shut down of the reproductive system...the factory as it were?  And then what if your own body becomes your nemesis when wanting to conceive and no matter what you do, your body just don't want to work with you.   These are all situations and conditions we have no control over, based on medical, biological factors.

Photo by Jake Melara on Unsplash

Now what if one has a fully functioning womb, ready and eager to go, function, thrive and be enjoyed but your partner is either unable (due to biological reasons such as erectile dysfunction) or unwilling (due to having no need or desire such as asexuality) to fulfill your physical and emotional desires and needs.  People often react by saying, ' why don't you just leave and find someone who functions or someone who wants to fulfill your desires' or maybe someone says 'life is too short to have unfulfilling sex or no sex at all'.  Although these statements may be true, the issue is a lot more complicated for most woman in such situations.  From a therapist point of view, directing a woman to find a support group of similar woman in this situation has been impossible even though there are many options of support for woman with menopause, hysterectomy, reproductive difficulties and many for men who have erectile dysfunction.  So women in this situation often feel isolated, alone, ashamed among a myriad of complex, intertwined emotions.  There are many reasons a woman choose to stay in these relationships where intimacy is complex or non existent.  Some examples might be that women are emotionally and/or financially invested in the relationship.  Women may feel like they will lose their best friend.  Other woman may feel that they want to keep their family unit in tact while their children grow.  Some dread the thought of having to be alone or even having to go through the nightmare of dating again.  

There may not be a support group out there for the issues that some women may face that associate with the Sad Womb Syndrome.  This post serves to provide some help and for some a life line to help cope with the emotional impact of womb sadness.

Tap on your KC point:

Some examples of phrases to use as your setup phrase:

Ensure you change the phrases to suit you and your situations specifically for the best results.

Even though though I feel like my womb feels sad, I love and respect the journey that my body is taking;

Even though my womb has been removed and I feel like a part of me is missing, I love and accept the function my womb once had and the new journey I am taking now without it;

Even though my womb feels like we are fighting against each other like it is fighting against my desire of being pregnant, I understand that it is not my fault and I love and accept this part of my journey;

Even though I am dissatisfied and my needs as a woman isn't met or respected, I acknowledge my feelings and the importance of my desires.

Tapping Sequence from TOH to UA points.  

Tap on each point and use a statement that describes your feelings and situation specifically for the best results.  Below are some examples to guide you when you get stuck.

Have a look through the examples as some may apply to your situation even when it is placed under a particular label:

Trouble conceiving

My womb is fighting a battle against me and it feels like it is my enemy;

How can a part of me, my own body fight against me, even hate me;

I just want to be able to carry a baby, my baby;

Something that comes so easily, so accidentally and so naturally to most women just don't come naturally to me;

My body feels like my enemy;

I am so frustrated;

Every month I go through a state of loss when again, I'm not pregnant;

I feel so sad when I see other women pregnant and I just can't get there;

I am grieving my womb's inability to give me what I want;

I feel like a disappointment, like I have any control over the situation;

I dread being asked yet again, how my journey is going or if we are going to have children or if we are going to have more children;

I hate that people walk on egg shells around me whenever the subject comes up;

Whenever someone talks about pregnancy it feels like all eyes are on me like people are watching my reaction like I am going to make a scene;

I feel so rejected by my womb;

I feel heartbroken;

Menopause

It feels like my body is shutting down;

My womb has reached it's expiry date and the factory is closed;

There are some benefits to this as the likelihood of getting pregnant is quickly diminishing; or

The likelihood of getting pregnant is quickly diminishing and I am scared that I have missed my opportunity to carry a child;

I feel like I am getting old and my system that has regulated my moods, my shape, my life for so long is closing down;

I am not ready to reach this stage of my life and I feel scared;

It feels way too soon to be going through the change;

I am unsure how this will affect who I am as a person, the way I look, the way I feel;

Things may start functioning differently than I did before;

My libido has started to change;

I have felt there are changes to my body that I like or dislike;

Hysterectomy

My body feels so empty without my womb;

Physically my body needs to adapt and my organs move around to fill the empty space where my womb once was;

My hormones are still regulated and yet I still feel completely different; or

My hormones aren't being regulated or produced anymore and this is effecting my body and my mind;

I was so afraid of going for this procedure of having it removed and all of my focus has been on the procedure;

now I am facing the very real effects of having no womb;

I have had the opportunity to have children but I still feel like it is part of me; or

I never had the opportunity to carry my children and now the opportunity has gone;

I feel sad and I am grieving my womb;

I am grieving the journey that we have taken together;

I am grieving the loss of the journey that had to be cut short;

Erectile Dysfunction and/or Asexual partner

I feel so rejected;

Is it me, am I the real issue here;

I feel unwanted and unloved;

My spirit feels broken and unworthy of romantic love;

I want to be honored as a woman;

I want my needs to be recognized and respected;

I want to feel passion again and intimacy;

I feel lonely even when I'm not alone;

I envy people who are loved passionately;

I wish I could have a relationship that is fulfilling;

My life feels empty sometimes and I have learnt over time to hide my feelings well;

Initially my heart was broken but although my heart doesn't hurt as it once did, my soul is broken;

I long for intimacy and to be wanted.

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